Insecurity hurts. It ruins days, breaks relationships, makes others uncomfortable around you. Insecurity is bread from many things: childhood bullies, bad experiences, discontent with ones life or image, psychological problems. While it is a real issue, I have often heard it explained that insecurity is nothing more than a lack of faith in ourselves and our God.
When talking with my husband the other day, his words spoke into my thoughts on the matter. He expressed insecurity in the form of a “hard truth.” The hard truth about insecurity: it is a selfish focus on oneself. Most often what we perceive as others’ words or glances being about us are nothing more than our own selfish assumptions. In reality, the person may have looked up at you in the middle of a thought and the look on their face was due to the conversation they were having. Or maybe the whispered comments you were sure are about you may have nothing to do with you. But because you have the self-centered thoughts of insecurity, everything seems to be about you.
People are mean, and the world is hard. We are going to encounter those who take sick pride in their ability to hurt others. But you take away a part of their power when you aren’t beat down by their words. On the flip side, when you harbor their words in your heart you are giving them more power than they ever had on their own.
Insecurity does not mean that you are a selfish person or should feel shame toward the things you feel. I would go so far as to say that we all have things we are insecure about. However, when we allow our insecurities to take over our happiness and our daily life it becomes necessary to turn to the root of the problem. It is never easy to look into ourselves and do work to fix a hurtful problem. But what if the solution to chronic unhappiness due to your insecurity lies within your own heart?
Turning to God and admitting to Him openly about the selfish, sinful nature of insecurities you have likely asked Him to take away can open the door for change. It takes recognition of the problem being your self and the desire to change to truly improve the insecurities. To help get started on situating your heart right and reaching out to God for his healing hand, this prayer is a good place to start.
I have placed my own selfish perceptions of the world above the truths you present to me everyday. I know you are bigger than all of my troubles, more powerful than any mess I work myself into, and I know you love me. Guide me to cease putting myself first in each situation and making things about me. Help me to see the world the way it truly is, without the lenses I have been wearing. Give me strength to push past the walls I have put in place to grow in your love. Let me use this transformation to love more openly and serve you more freely. You are so good father.
We have a good Father that loves. He wants us to thrive in the life we are given, doing His works and loving His people. How are we to appropriately serve him, let alone function in our daily lives, if we are caught up in how we look to the world? Why does it matter what the world thinks?
Change your mindset about the world around you. Anytime you feel the grips of insecurity, consider two things: 1. is it realistic that you are the focus in the situation and, 2.why it matters that the world may care. Is it realistic to think that the lady behind you is talking about how bad your hair looks? From a “hard truth” perspective, it is selfish to think that her day revolves around what your hair looks like. Even if she did say something, she will soon forget she ever encountered you. Why should you be left with any thought of her?
Dealing with insecurity is hard and fixing the source is much harder. But we open ourselves up to a more content, fulfilled life when we lose the burden it puts on our life. Its not easy, fun, or even pleasant most often. But it is worth it. If you are looking for some Biblical support, these are some verses that can help you on your path.
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:6-9
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand firm therefore,with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place Ephesians 6:10-14